If it is one thing that I would like the whole entire world to know, its that I pride in my "Art" when it comes to yoyo. Yes, I used to be a part of a team/company known as "Onedrop" based out of Eugene, OR. When any kind of negativity/drama trickles into my life, this can really put a damper on anything I do that is art related whether it comes to drawing, painting or skilltoys like yoyo or juggling. And that is exactly what this post is about: What has been going on lately.

I've had to deal with quite a lot of backlash from the yoyo community, and thankfully there is not that many from that community that is on Deviant Art, so I can at least feel a sense of ease knowing there is a place away from that. About a week or two ago I dropped my sponsor due to quite a number of reasons. Two reasons I have had to shield from the community as a whole because of things that happened behind the scenes. I'm not going to spill those because I am still trying to remain professional while trying to move on from what I was. When I was a part of Onedrop, I believe people considered me a "Face" of the company which is why of the absolute shock when I had to tell people on facebook I left. The thing is, I didn't want to leave one bit, but I had to force myself in order to try and "get better".

Ever since January 4th, 2012 when I got fired from my job, my life has turned into a chaotic mess. I believe I have addressed this before but yeah.

So, my energy for yoyo has been diminishing, the happiness for it disappearing and my wanting to be a part of that has been dieing. I had no choice but drop my sponsor.

I've had to deal with that, and now just a few days ago I lost a friend that I thought of greatly. He was also a yoyoer, a important part of the community. His nickname was "Sniffy, but his real name was Paul Ash. He used to do unbiased reviews of product in the community and everything he said was indepth. It helped a great deal in the community, with such honest reviews. What is even more important was his impact on me. I didn't know the man personally, I will admit that. But literally everyday we would converse on twitter, saying jokes at each other and speaking about life. We spoke of our dark demons and how we could help each other. He gave me a great deal of life advice even when he was dealing with difficulties of his own. I took his advice seriously, and his jokes always made me smile. We were planning to do a interview through skype too about yoyo and life too but unfortunately that cannot be done now. 2.13.2013. RIP

I've since been trying to get back in gear. I've been submitting job applications again, recently decided to try and get back in shape (at least try to change my eating habits..its been a battle)..recently have went back to see my psychiatrist/therapist and put back on the medication I was recently on, and focusing on my art.

I want to make a impact on Deviant art, specifically the Sonic Universe. I want to be like my idols. I want people to see the work I have done over the past so many years. I now finally have that chance somehow or another. Above all, I just really want to get better at what I have been wanting to do ALL these years now. I used to draw so much as a kid and that magic died but recently because of a shift in life that magic has been slowly coming back. I am not sure where it will take me, but maybe it will take me somewhere, somewhere I can make friends perhaps.

Thats all, laterdays.

~Z