Zamstrom

Hello whoever chooses to read this. If you’ve been following this account, or if you’ve stumbled across it during your journey through this site, first of all I would like to say Good Morning, Afternoon, evening or whenever you’re reading this. I really don’t know how to start this off so I’ll just say what’s on my mind. I know I haven’t been posting here in a very long time. Not having my computer anymore sucks big time. That being said however I do in fact still draw though it’s mainly on paper now and I just take a picture with my phone and post it to Twitter. I’ve mostly been doing art trades with an occasional commission here and there. It’s not much but it gives me an incentive to keep drawing. A while back I used to get really upset because people weren’t commissioning me and it really made me second guess myself and my art. But now, I can honestly say it doesn’t bother me and while I do joke occasionally by saying my art sucks I know that while I’m not the best by any stretch and I could always improve, I have more confidence in my artwork now. On another note, and one of the real reasons I’m typing this out right now, is that since the last time I posted a journal here or anywhere honestly things have changed a lot in my life both online and irl. And because of this a lot of things have been put into perspective and I’ve come to a lot of realizations. I have my issues just like everyone else, Depression, Stress, Anxiety, etc. I deal with stuff everyday on a daily basis. However the way I went about trying to deal with these issues have caused me to lose people that I care about. And I realized that I’m a very toxic person and I’m doing everything I can to do better and be better. That being said though I’ve also learned that my negative mentality is the reason I don’t have many friends left, if any at all. And while I do wish that things were different and that I still had my friends. I see that they’re doing much better since parting ways with me and I’m honestly glad for them. My former friends are gone and they’re not coming back. They’ve moved and I’m not blaming them or myself anymore for that matter. I’m not going to be depressed or beat myself up over it anymore. I wish them the best and I will simply move on. Now I will not sit here and lie and say that it hasn’t affected me. In fact, because of the circumstances I have severe trust issues. I can say that I have done a lot of reflecting. I’m always reflecting. But it took losing people I was close to online and in my personal life for it to really be hammered home. I have my flaws, just like everyone else. I’m not perfect. I never once claimed to be. And I’m more than man enough to admit and acknowledge my mistakes and flaws. And I’m working everyday to be a better person. While I’m not as depressed as I used to be I’m doing much better emotionally. I won’t get into the details and I know that there will be bad days in the future because I know just as well as everyone else that depression just doesn’t go away because you or anyone else wants it too. Still though I will continue to fight. I feel like I’ve rambled on for too long so I’ll wrap this up by saying I’m still drawing and if anyone wants to contact me for a commission, art trade, or just wanna talk, ask for my discord as I’m most active there. All I ask is that you have a bit of patience with me that’s all. Thank you for reading this and please enjoy your day no matter what.